sc0rp's Page

standing on my head on a unicycle with a cracked frame and one flat tire while balanced on a flaming tightrope suspended 100ft over a patch of cholla cactus in broken-glass mulch, meanwhile juggling a lit tiki torch, a running chainsaw, and a wild 40-lb bobcat hopped on PCP as I evade fire from five Marine snipers in treetops 150yd away with orders to smoke 1000 rounds each... oh, did I mention the alligators? all that, whilst I'm mentally composing an angry Letter to the Editor that likely won'… Continue

All right you primitive screwheads, listen up! You see this? This... is my brainstick! You can find it in the school supplies department. That's right, this sweet baby was made by Eberhard Faber. Retails for about nine cents. It's got bonded graphite, bus-yellow paint, and... an eraser. That's right. Shop sm0rp. Shop s-c0rp. You got that?

...man, I'm dreading November...

Much was made over the date 09/09/09 recently.
Next up is 10/10/10...

101010 in binary is
~ 42 ~

On the day of The Answer, it is likely that The Question finally will be worked out, and the Earth then will have no further useful purpose at all. This trumps any Doomsday 2012 concerns.

(The fact there is, when making their calendar, the Mayans simply ran out of rock at 2012. Nothing more significant than that. Really. Like running out of paper in a printer. Same deal.)… Continue

...how high up in a building do you have to be before breaking the window works like it does in an airplane...?

Cuz I've HAD it with these ...... SNAKES in this ...... OFFICE.

Oxymorons are generally pretty ugly in the specific.

Tapdancing on shag carpet is a profound waste of your time.

If you give a mouse a cookie--
--he will ask for a glass of milk.
If you give a mouse a Singapore Sling--
--he will stomp his dang little foot and demand one of those dang little paper umbrellas in it, every time, guaranteed, and it's not that surprising, because to him it isn't little, it's just right; and he's going to try and abscond with it too, you watch.

Two people with half… Continue